Cameron's room- No Vacancy!

My child has slept with me everynight for practically the past year, or at least since he was conceived. For 9 1/2 months, he slept in my belly. I took him to bed with me everynight. There was a comfort in knowing he was there and safe. Nothing could happen to him without me being aware of it. Then once he was born and we came home, for the first month he slept on my chest (I know, shame on me!). It was the only place he would sleep. I would lay him down and he would cry and so we slept, everynight on the couch, him and me. After the first month he began to sleep in his co-sleeper crib. It is a small bed that is attached to our bed. You get the benefits of the baby being in the bed without the dangers. You can't roll over on them or smother them accidently, but you can see them and touch them or get them within seconds once they begin to cry. I could roll over and see him, hear him breathing, and touch him. Tonight however Cameron is in his big crib, in his own room. It started this morning. He was ready for a nap and Casey was still in the bed. I am trying to let him put himself to sleep with a LITTLE crying before I step in, and I didn't want him to wake up Casey. I put him down in his big crib, and he was fine. So by this afternoon we were moving the monitors into his room so he could begin sleeping in there. His big crib is much more comfortable, and he was starting to outgrow the mini co-sleeper anyway. He is obviously ok with this move, because he has been asleep since 8. I got him at 10, gave him a bottle and his medicine and laid him back down. He has stayed asleep ever since. But me, it is 11:40 and I'm not ok with it. We have the movement sensor monitor on Casey's night stand and the video monitor on my night stand, and still I can't sleep. I keep sneaking in his room to look at him and watch him sleep. As I got in the bed I looked at the empty co-sleeper and felt sad. My baby boy made his first step to growing up, and I am not ready. I honestly feel like going to get him, laying him on my chest, and sleeping with him on the couch like I did his first night home. I could have never imagined the connection I would feel to this little man. My whole world revolves around him and I am ok with that. I want the very best for him and nothing less. I want to make all the right decisions and do what is necessary to make him strong and successful...I guess sleeping in his own room is a start. I don't know many strong and successful men that sleep in their parents' room, but I just wasn't ready. He is though, so I will go peak at him one more time, rub his sweet, perfect little head, and hopefully fall asleep, although it may be a long night of watching the monitor!