I haven't posted much lately and there is so much that Cameron is doing. He is so big and independent. He wants to try to sit up all the time. He thinks he is too big to lay down like a baby now. He is aware of his surrounds and he looks at everything. You can put him in his boppy bouncy seat now and he will stay there all day if you talk to him. This is great because I can sit in the floor with him and work on stuff for heading back to work. I have such mixed feelings about returning to work. I have always said that being a stay-at-home mom isn't for me, but there were many times this summer when I thought that was exactly what I would become. We did so much thinking and praying and we finally found Rachel. She lives in the neighborhood next to us. Her husband is the youth pastor at Laura's church and she is going to come stay with Cam everyday while we are at school. I felt so much relief when we got this set up. Cameron will still have one on one attention, and I can go to work and focus on my students knowing my baby is being taken care of. I trust Rachel and know she will do an amazing job, but as the time drawers nearer I am beginning to get sad. I have missed teaching. I really love my job, and I missed going to work everyday and seeing my students. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness as I rocked him tonight. I looked down and saw my sweet, beautiful, perfect little man and realized that I would no longer be with him all day. From day 1 I have been here to provide everything for him, and that is not going to be my job anymore. Well it will always be my job, but there will be someone else who does it too and that makes me a little sad. I have had the most amazing time being able to be at home with him all this time. I am so lucky because most moms get 6 weeks, and I got 15. It has been such a blessing and time I will cherish forever. I am so blessed and I love him so much.
2 comments:
I know exactly what you're feeling. I cried the entire day before I went back to work. But I quickly got back into the routine. It was nice to have those adult conversations again. And it made coming home so much sweeter! Having someone you know and trust makes it a lot easier, too. I'll be praying for you :)
So I am almost in tears...and I know exactly how you feel. It's hard...and some days feel harder than the first day...but I am glad you have found someone to love and take care of your little man the way you want. :)
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